CS:GO – I’M FINALLY GLOBAL ELITE! (with average 30 fps)

(proof at the end that I’m global)
To everyone that is wondering what ‘conditions’ I was playing with:
I’m playing on a shitty laptop that runs with 30-60 FPS. Here’s an example:
http://gyazo.com/9f786b3d02203d2848a463a2b7e7c95a
http://gyazo.com/d3672523a661f648da456ad672275e44
32 FPS^; 23 FPS^
Feel free to scroll through my screenshots to verify that I do indeed have that low FPS: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Quax-da-k1ng/
On top of all that I also only have 60 hz on my screen:
http://gyazo.com/9623a129bdb6adc51f9509099a9f38b8
Sorry that’s danish, but it’s numbers that’s important anyways ;)

But I do have a fairly good internet and I have a Steelseries mouse sensei and a razer kraken headset.